Should we be having Children, before marriage?

It’s 2017, we live in a world that is socially accepting of all religions, races, beliefs and sexualities. And rightly so. Everyone has the right to be themselves. But god forbid you should have children before you’re married. Surely that’s just wrong? You’d think so with the reactions I’ve had over the years.

Children before marriage are very common these days, of course, those who believe you should be wed first are entitled to an opinion. What they aren’t entitled to is to force it upon others. It’s none of their bloody business!

I myself am not married or engaged. But here I am gradually becoming a pregnant whale for the second time in as many as 3 years sans ring on my finger. Should I have waited until I was married? Should I have cared about the repeat remarks I received from a colleague the first time around? Having it announced in front of my colleagues that he needs to “get a ring on that finger before this baby arrives” wasn’t a highlight of my career. It’s 2017 and we have the right to choose.

Do I want to get married?

Sure, one day but it’s not a high priority. It’s never been a high priority of mine. I didn’t keep a diary documenting my dream wedding as a teenager. That’s not to say I’ve never thought about it.

Being presented with the perfect engagement ring, in front of the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree. As the snow comes down around us in New York City….

That’s how it happens, right? (Phillip, that’s how it happens!) I wouldn’t say no to that.

We chose to have children and buy a house first. Weddings can be expensive, of course, they don’t have to be but saving a deposit for our home seemed like a wise decision.

Should we ever decide to get married I love the idea of having my children at my wedding. They’re a huge part of who we are and the things we’ve been through as a couple.

You see a whole new side of your life partner the day he’s holding you tightly, seeing the fear and the love in their eyes as you give birth to your first child and welcome them into the world together.

Marriage isn’t a test on your relationship. Being there for another through the loss of a parent, the birth of a child, sleep deprivation and seven house moves. That’s a test! And so far we’ve made it.

Now I’ll just wait for the day that surprise trip to New York happens 😉

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